When I stop hurting I will figure I’ve probably lost the ability to feel anything, and I shall continue to insist that I actually do prefer being this way (how I am now, not numb, and not getting or wanting to get “number” either), and feeling miserable. Not that I enjoy being stuck in the certain knowledge that without some sort of miracle, intervention by medical science, or other alternate we cannot foresee, the stiffness and soreness in my hip joints, chronic and intense enough that it becomes virtually impossible to walk normally (like any typical walking person) ever again, this condition will never improve, and potentially will worsen by orders of magnitude (somewhat scary!). This certainty became known several years ago. Supposedly I have a pessimistic attitude when I recognize that I see no way that I’ll ever get better, but to me that is simply my own admission of limitations. The other person (lately, almost always my aging papa) will decide that I have “given up” or that I do “not want to try” as they claim, and their proof is the fact that I will not do the things that they claim will work. My disagreement with them over the assessment they offer of both my own opinion (it is worthless to them, they know better what would be good for me) and also the actual value and “likelihood of good outcome” (logo?) as being valid (their idea is a really really good one and I’m a fool not to see it).
For one reason or another I always sympathize as much as I can about their objection to my point of view (that I actually know what’s best for me, considering that I am the one who has to put up with this messed up body and will have to put up with being the statistical failure that the surgeon told us about ahead of time and expected us to realize we might be the one where it does *not* work out good). Apparently I am not the one who knows what I want to do in terms of what is best for me, since I do not know that last part. This notion is the one I reject from them, the one that says they can reject my notion. Then (like my father does) they claim I am “getting even” with them and doing it “to be mean” which basically means I am doing a bad thing that was a good thing when they did it first. Only a fool like me would think he was not doing it for revenge, unless it were a bad thing in the first place, which I did not know it was. I thought I was returning a favor, not a bad thing. Then they inform me that they knew they were doing something bad in the first place, only now they are mad at me for doing one “back at them” in a vengeful manner. Once again, I was lagging in keeping up with some commonly held knowledge (or it’s private to that other person) of what was in my own heart (the big mystery, to me, I guess, is how I feel). I forgot to be vengeful and then stop myself.
Idiot! (me) I am in the middle of re-recording something I did a while back. I got a small favorable reaction from the “rest of the world” and thought maybe I’d never play it again. Then again, I might play it again, just the guitar, so someone can sing along with it. Only because of what was said before, I had a bit of trouble deciding (fickleness is mine!) what “version” to play since in my mind the original is the song, and the other “versions” are either imitations or rearranged works that really are not the same song (especially if it’s part of some medley type concoction). But everyone has their own reason for liking things, and having favorites. So this one was and is a favorite of mine, and with other “bad ideas, timing-wise” we have no trouble whatsoever at this end wishing we (my multiple selfishnesses) could just have married Judy and been done with this mysterious game called love!
=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+= under construction +=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=
[ link to file for download/play/snap-preview (or not) ]
=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+ end construction zone +=+=+=+=+=+=+=
Obviously (I hope!) my intent is not to improve noticeably from the original, nor to steal royalties from the proper recipients of the benefit of hearing this song again after almost seventy years (I am NOT that old!) or anything sinister other than fair use (it’s a syndrome), but I added a little of my sound on top of what’s there, trying to blend in without being totally inaudible. You have to try to hear the part I added, in most of it, and also it helps (as usual) if you can put on stereo headphones or similar to make it sound like the part added is “somewhere in the middle of your head” making the whole mix easier to “unmix” if you want to pay any particular attention. (Not that I’m particular, but I am!)
This one is just me messin’ with little “tasty” licks here and there, but of course they are not really tasty at all. I’ve lost all my flavor. No buds. I did not even trim off the pre- and post- leader sections to fix it all neat and pretty, all I did was make the mp3 version and post it for playing here. Minimal value added, if any, to this really old song. It is exactly three minutes long this way so if you loop it, ti pool uoy fi os yaw siht gnol setunim eerht yltcaxe si tI… you could get stuck in some whirlpool named Eddy! Of course I have looped it, so that we may depool. Get dry already!
Depending on which way the “wind blows” there could be another karaoke-type guitar track, in this key or any other, for singing along without Judy’s voice. Much as I love hers, I’d rather hear yours. You’d have to agree to let me hear it, somehow. I know how to do things with this computer. You have a computer. The possiblity exists, for some type of bridge. We can even make up a bridge for this song, and do yet another arrangement of “Somewhere Over The Rainbow” but that might be over the top, finally!
Meanwhile, I wonder if today is Riday? Or why I wanted to say that?