This is purely imagery. Not imaginary, just imagery. These two represent me, yet they are not me. One is blurry, one is fuzzy. One is my face, one is my monogram (note that it may or not be my current avatar here or anywhere else… period) . One is one but different than the other. They are related, yet independent.
Sounds really mixed up. That describes my eternal state, from the moment I was born, all through my life, now as well, and on into the future, which may or may not include eternity. For now, if sadness is the theme, here is the face you never will meet, unless you have some small amount of real, true, and lasting faith.
my original WordPress Avatar
Natural Disaster (ND)™
Born Freak, (as streaked as the windows)
These ideas have no price on them so they are free. That may mean, essentially, they have no real value, no measurable worth at all. Or, they are priceless, like my friendships on the internet seemed to be, once upon a time. Now, only real acquaintances matter to me. The ones who want it to be casual can realize somehow that I was here for them, and they did not want to be serious. Nothing is wrong with casual lifestyles, but if there are problems in this world, where I have noticed many and caused some of them myself, and “we” do not address them, then people will suffer. Sadness comes along with suffering.
Some people will just say that is how the world is, so don’t let it get to you. This, of course, is the world asking “us” not to do anything to it, and using “us” to tell ourselves that. Leave the world, and the others, alone to do what they will.
So now, for the next N time-units, I shall try for perfect silence.
Chances are, like anything else I ever tried, I will fail even if it simply from eventual wear-out on my patience, which has been both my strength and my defeat, usually in crisis situations, but even day-to-day, waiting too long has killed the spirit. Never could find enough of that in myself, or others. It seems to run out, and it’s replacement is ugly.
For now, or possibly forever, this is it, finally, if I can make it stand and not move. Farewell, to those who never got around to talking to me. I will miss you more than it makes sense to miss anyone I never met.
It makes no sense, so thus it has no solution, and no end. It is my purpose. To endure this sad, unfulfilled life that was supposed to be given for those who love me.
In other words: nobody.
written at 19:14 1/5/2007 edited at 20:53 1/9/2007 remembered later too!