Nothing would have been more interesting (and happy) for me personally now, at this point on the calendar, than to be able to start speculating on what had become of him, but unfortunately and sadly, since they pulled him out of the water yesterday, we do not wonder about anything like that now, in terms of what he might be doing that keeps him from us. We know he is not doing anything. He is dead, and that is how he will stay. It is a body thing. A body trip. Ugh.
It comes down to true finality, when you are dead.
No customer complaints at that point; no returns.
When I wrote about Jerry Tupper over a week ago, I had gotten one of those “inklings” that he was gone, from the way things had happened, and from the way I learned about events after the fact, as it always is to some degree — partly from the curious timing of the elements — and also from that inexplicable “other” sense that may or may not really be there for some of us. But if it is, then any so-called “coincidences” are not meaningless. This particular “inkling” was also a particularly strong one, so I would tend not to ignore it, even with pressure from others to do that “blind eye” number.
Likewise, any claims as to the worthlessness (or not) of speculation itself are quite possibly being made by people who are also speculating that the ideas others have are not worth considering. Some ideas, like my ideas, which are many, are often earnestly farfetched, as if to reach beyond our abilities. That does not equate with me holding a bizarre point of view, or in my reaching insanely incorrect deductions in my reasoning. It could mean that, but does not necessarily mean that.
As might be expected, folks are still talking about, and trying to figure out, whether Jerry intentionally drove that F-350 truck of his (registered to her, however) off of the left side on the upper deck of the Marquam, just so that he would die (had to find the right spot?). This would fit the standard definition of suicide, which is commonly thought to be intentional and not accidental. This is where it gets really tricky, but I will state without any doubt that I would not call Jerry’s act suicide, unless the definition includes accidentally not preventing your death. The idea of any sane person actually sanely enacting murder on oneself is not a sane idea in itself, and so it is not possible to do it. If he died alone, then it might be called suicide, and that might be so any insurance policies can be “properly” determined for the living beneficiaries to be compensated for the loss. This is not what the loss is, really. The loss was the man himself, Jerry Allen Tupper, who is dead. I will miss the chance to actually get to do more than see him “over there” by his truck while my son Josh and he are discussing tomorrow’s agenda in the Corian™ installation industry. He was an “independent subcontractor” working mostly as an installer, and had become very much a type of “mentor” for my son, and perhaps did not even realize it. Obviously, I did not speak to the man about it, or anything ever, that I can remember. Still, I remember plenty. And, I am certain that God knows what is going on, and tells me about some of it.
Some folks who may be (are) speculating about Jerry, the fight he and his “live-in girlfriend” had not long before we know he must have “not known what he was doing” while driving by taking a literal wrong turn, and wondering if he were so distraught he decided to end it all, are not very bright, in my opinion. These sorts of explanations are so “obvious” in a way, that they should be given little more than some nominal amount of consideration just to be sure they are not overlooked. If someone wants to actually speculate then they should try going past the obvious, since anyone else could be counting on the obvious to be the “official” explanation, and that would not be the obvious parties being hounded (probably) by media types now. I pray for the family and friends of the dead man, since Jerry is fine now.
For some grown-up hard-nosed gonzo speculation, try this out: Josh (my son) had a meeting scheduled Monday morning (May 15) with other independent subcontractors, including Jerry. Josh was new and had only recently gotten his license, but Jerry was one of the first ones that went independent when their employer decided to rearrange their business model and have the installers stop being employees. Thus, a couple of years back, when their employer at the time (Precision Countertops), a contract manufacturer that lands a good portion of contracts for the counter-top installations folks get in this “neck of the woods” whenever they shop somewhere like Home Depot, decided improve their own profitability by adding another layer of “division of labor” to their operation, by convincing (forcing) the installers to essentially quit and go into business for themselves, to “simplify” and “streamline” their operation, and so forth, it was presented as a “great idea” where everyone would benefit. After an appropriate amount of time, they now want to reduce the rate per square foot that they pay the installers for the jobs they do now, like they used to do “for free” under the old arrangement, when they actually worked for those idiots (the company of greedy grubs). Corporations tend to “fail my test” for validity, since they have no actual single mind in their “head” anyway. Often, those in charge are not as bright as some of their workers, but the worst part about that situation is that they either do not know it, or else they refuse to overcome it by allowing their smarter “servants” to serve them completely and genuinely. They want submission more than service anyway.
From the impression Josh gave me, in conversations we’d had during the week before Jerry went off the bridge, this was to be an important meeting, and much anticipation and discussion was still going on between the guys. When Jerry was nowhere to be found Friday morning (May 12) while the “mysterious oily ooze” bubbled up from the river bottom, it was one of those clearly “not good” things that can make one shudder and wonder and worry. And it was not for “nothing”, this time. There really was a problem. When they did not find Jerry’s body in his truck, they also did not find anyone else in there either. Thus, we might have hoped Jerry survived the crash, but now we know he did not. Even so, if anyone else were with him then, that person must have survived, unless we find another body in the next “perhaps two months” they had said it might take for Jerry to surface. Bodies in the water are unpredictable, even if they are no longer alive. Strange, isn’t it? So maybe someone wanted it to look like suicide or a really unusual accident. It certainly looks like that, but I take exception at the “suicide” idea, if we don’t completely rule out “murder” first. This is probably not reasonable, but I am not afraid. I have a “secret” way to tell who lies.
We will all know all of what we need to know when we are ready to know it, and not before.
Jerry is someone I will not get to know better, now, in this life. Yet, I will get to know him, for what he was to those who loved him, even in this life if I meet them. They knew him, but I did not know him for very long, or very well at all. For that personal side, I have no “hope” now, yet I am not hopeless.
One other thing I know for certain: if anyone actually wanted this thing to happen to Jerry, we will find that person, and then the repentance can come, for that person. The rest of us will be past it, mostly.
Praying for comfort and understanding, and heartaches that go away, will be my song for a “fortnight” or so…
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Sands trickleThe next big tickleFebruary 24th, 2014I'm your baby vehicle
About Meor, (AM)™
This mind took its own hike,
Too long ago.
Where it alit, nobody knows,
But know, buddy-nose:
Lots of earth rests 'neath my chin,
So breathe deep, take it all in!
What Anybody Said WAS?
Galen on Work Halt In Progress Some one who knew Je… on Some Have Understood: Death De… Some one who knew Je… on Some Have Understood: Death De… Rachel Anne Redfield on Newer Ear Ewer Rachel Anne Redfield on Only Love Dies
Sanded And Duned, Landed Yesterdays
X Cave 8 It
Choose Any Pigeon Now, Cap’n