Good Enough For Any Band (GEFAB)™

At this point in my life, nearer my end than most are to theirs, one of my alleged "gifts" has been refined sufficiently (by my estimation), such that I am as musically described above, even if I do say so myself. And that is apparently all I am going to do from now on — say things by myself, for myself, and to myself, unless God is listening instead of ignoring my sinning, like some folks will insist is true. He hides from our iniquity, even after we are saved, so we can do whatever we think God has told us to do. There is no law. That's what they say, when I listen to them saying it. They are people that I once tried to be in fellowship with right here on the Internet. Can you imagine such a thing? I once could, but now I cannot. That would have to be called progress, and growth, I am certain. Everyone else seems certain, as well, except they are certainly confused about the part where the law can be ignored. That is okay, since confusion belongs to their real master, which is darkness. Not mine, usually, although darkness likes to follow me around, almost like ink. I can write things with ink.

I digress, as usual, but can digress back again, if good might somehow prevail, even in my demented state (Oregon?) which if I spell it the way some folks spell theirs (Virginia) then it would be Organ and Virgina to top the bill. I can still remember when A/S/L was the way to introduce yourself to others in a chatrooom, which I once did, in connection with an interest in Jennifer Knapp. She is someone I do not know at all, and only have some idea about since music was produced and made available for the public at large. The public is quite large, if you hadn't noticed. Oh, wait, you are not there. Nobody reads this junk anymore. Not even me, which is good, or it would make me miserable, probably. That is, if I could understand this garbage I am writing now. It is like the garbage before, only more so.

Again, returning to the discusion which has not started, the song I am writing has those chords you see there (GEFAB) for the basic pattern or tag or bullet or something like that, and it would have been great to actually "produce" the thing instead of just now having it "appear" like the other ones do (or did) as if by magic. I know Jen had the "magic" you get by praying, but we never worked together on that.

Oh well, what-the-hell… maybe next incarnation?

Whatever may be from what I once thought could happen, that pipe-dream is up in smoke now. Nothing will ever happen in that arena, like I once thought. It was some kind of rehearsal for me, and now when I meet some musical genius of proper focus (again, my estimation) I will offer my possible gift to share with Him. And I doubt I will pay any favorable attention to gender this time for any reason.

Otherwise, I shall confine myself to my own garbage, and figure that is what I should have, or maybe it is even a little more than I deserve. I, myself, seem to be more than I deserve, that's for certain. And I try to make less and less of me, and it seems to be working now. That, again, is progress, even if it is shrinkage from another point of view. Failing to produce is not good, and the olive tree that did not produce was given a nudge in the direction of less and less, all the way to zero. I shall be happy becoming as nothing, even if I am not "into" Zen at all. Maybe "it" is into me, and needs to be kept there. Again, progress, and growth. Containment, like He said.

You only get to try this thing one way, even if you do not want to try at all.